Bah Humbug

Well, the last fall semester of my college career is officially over. As depressing as it is, I'm kind of enjoying the fact that I no longer have to learn about Confucius, strategically analyze Hasbro, feed the needy of New Jersey, learn to communicate food, or speak in public. What a relief! In all honesty, I absolutely HATE that only one semester separates me from graduation. And the real world. It's the last thing I ever want to talk about, and chances are very high that I will physically injure you if you ask me what I'm doing with my life next year. Fuck you, in advance.

On the bright side, the holiday season is upon us. Thanksgiving was incredible. It will forever be my favorite holiday. But Christmas (and Hanukkah, of course) takes a close second. Now that winter break is finally here, there are a few things we all have to look forward to (and some that just I have to look forward to...after all the world DOES revolve around me, suckas):

Eggnog

Yumsville. Or if you're watching your figure, try Silk brand Soy Nog. It's bangin.

Snow

Preferably Buffalo snow, it's the best.

But only if you have the luxury of heat in your home...unlike Gay Street. Ups.

Sleep

I've missed you.

Friendz

...from home. Reunions are always merry. Sup Ibbs?

Barcelona

Fuck yeaaaah I'm going to Barcelona for a week with my sister after Christmas.

Jealous?

It's going to be a rip roarin' time. I'm pumped.

In the spirit of the season, I wish you all the merriest of Christmasses, the happiest of Hanukkahs, the best of Kwanzaas, and the sloppiest of New Years. Hopefully your blackouts are divine, your Christmas hams are cooked to perfection, and your furnaces are roaring. If you haven't heard me bitching about it yet, I'm shocked, but the residents of Gay Street live in the arctic. Come visit ;)

Later Haters.

Sorry I'm Not Sorry

Yeah yeah yeah I know it's been a while since I've posted...mayyybe an entire semester has passed...but don't pretend like you don't check this site religiously to see if I've posted. I know, you're dying without my good looks and charm in your life, but take a sigh of relief and quit getting your panties in a bunch...the bitch is back. And sorry I'm not sorry for the extremely lengthy and unnecessary hiatus.

I'd love to say school, work, and friendz have taken over my life and made it literally impossible to throw together a quick blog entry, but let's be real: I'm lazy. So lazy that school, work, and friendz have all taken the back burner to sleep (occasionally), nothingness, and a whole bunch of bullshit. I'm on the verge of failing out of school, group projects are consuming my life, I'm broke as a motherfucker, and pretty much the most miserable person in the world to be around at all times. On the bright side, I'm finally 21 (hallelujah), and I'm still alive to take advantage of all the fun things this age has to offer!

Cue: Thanksgiving break. Could not have come at a better time. Who cares if I say this every year, it's true. Just when you've had it up to here with your life, you want to gauge your eyes out at the sight of a new email from school on your phone, the cupboards are bare, you have no clothes left in your closet and your laundry basket is overflowing, and you're craving stuffing like you haven't eaten since November last year, it's finally arrived. All hail tgivz'11.

Let's go through a few of the holiday highlights, O'Hara style:

First off: wine. Because we all know this is what really gets us through the holiday season.

Two Buck Chuck, a personal favorite

Keeping the tradition going strong, the infamous turkey pants. Over 40 years and still looking better than ever.

Because it's not Thanksgiving without them - a staple in every man's closet

And last but certainly not least, stuffing. Yup.

I dare you to pretend this doesn't make your mouth water. Just try.

And that, folks, is your Thanksgiving edition of Trish the Dish. I'll be back soon (not just saying that this time...I'll have plenty of time to spare once I flunk out of school in the near future) with some more seasonal highlights.

So take my advice and rage hard (biggest party night of the year what UP), eat harder, and drink hardest. Let's make this a tgivz to remember (maybe a little fuzzy), whether you're in Buffalo with the cream of the crop or anywhere else around the globe, have a very happy holiday and try not to vom in my pumpkin pie, bitch.

All Things Buffalo

BUFFALO, NY: A city that gets an awful reputation from ignorant folk who think the character of a city is based around the success of its sports teams and its yearly winter forecast. Well, the truth is, Buffalo has more personality than most modern day bustling metropolises. Being an avid traveler around most parts of the US (lolz), I am perfectly qualified to say that Buffalo is the cream of the crop. South Dakota, Northeast Philly, Nebraska, Las Vegas? You ain't got shit on Buff. The failure of its sports teams and below average winter temperatures only unite Buffalonians more, and, along with a slew of other amazing qualities, create a place I'm proud to call home. An underrated gem in the westernmost part of New York state, the Queen City straight up r00lz . So this post is dedicated to All Things Buffalo...or at least a few things Buffalo, and a million reasons why you should give the city a chance. After a brief two week visit back to the motherland, I've once again got Buffalo fever flowing through my veins...and plenty of blue cheese, beer, and hot sauce, too.

Isn't she a beaut!?

Noobs to the Rough Buff are always asking, "What is there to do in Buffalo?" Um, duh. Everything. What is there to do in any city? Eat amazing food, drink excessively, spend a few hours of your afternoon in a foreign country. ...Oh wait. I could write a fucking novel about everything exciting Buffalo has to offer, but I'll just stick to the few highlights that I managed to capture on film.

1. Food
Buffalo has mastered the art of one of the most deadly combinations ever created by mankind: hot sauce and blue cheese. This might actually beat out pickles and peanut butter for my favorite food combination. And that is quite the accomplishment. You literally can't say you've been to Buffalo if you've never been to Jim's Steakout. Token drunk food, but SO much more.

This picture obviously doesn't do it justice, but a chicken finger sub has been, at some point in every Buffalonian's life, his or her favorite food. I took a vegetarian hiatus just for this bad boy. And it was worth every fucking bite. Other cities try to recreate this masterpiece, with "chicken tender hoagies" and other bullshit, but literally nothing compares. Deep fried chicken soaked in hot sauce on bread with cheese, lettuce, tomato, and blue cheese (if you get mayo instead you're fucking nasty and need hand over your Jim's reward card STAT)...heavenly.

Conveniently, located right across the street is another favorite hot sauce/blue cheese destination: ETS. Although they're best known for their cheap Mexican food, ETS has the best waffle fries on the face of the earth. Add a side of Frank's hot sauce and blue cheese to that, and you're fucking golden. This Buffalo staple has been trademarked by none other than Stephanie Tran and myself, and is most commonly known as the "Trib & Stib Combo." Hell to the yes. I'm sure ETS will be adding this to the menu in the near future, no bigs. It's the perfect sober OR drunk food (and that, my friends, is rare), and is especially delicious after raiding the Gartners' fridge and finishing off the last of Drawde's Peanut Butter Swirl ice cream. Sup thickness? My mouth is watering.

I could go on forever about all the bomb ass food Buffalo has to offer, but I won't. Hot sauce and blue cheese is just the tip of the iceberg, obviously. But it's also my favorite and the most relevant to Trish the Dish...because my opinion is all that matters here. Everyone already knows Buffalo has the best chicken wings in the world, that's why people everywhere else call them "Buffalo wings." We were also pretty much the pioneers of Wegmans, and look how that's taken off. Not to mention...Tim Horton's? Mighty Taco? The possibilities are endless.

2. Drink
I'll make this brief. Buffalonians know how to drink. You can buy alcohol at pretty much any store that has a door on the hinge. Bars are open until 4am, sometimes later. Most bars per capita than any other city. Liquor stores are open late. Pretty much everyone is drinking or drunk all of the time. We know what's up, and we don't fuck around.

3. Exotic Getaways
I know this post is about all things Buffalo, but you can't talk about Buffalo without mentioning our friendly neighbors to the north, America's hat, Canada.

While I was home, I found out a fun fact: the distance from my front door to Canada? Three miles. Are you kidding me? How fucking cool is that?! Growing up in Buffalo, you never realize how awesome it is that you literally live on the border of two countries. People from different parts of the US have no concept that you can go to Canada for dinner, to go to the beach, for a weekend at your lake house (the Hamptons of Buffalo? I think so), or just to stock up on Cuban cigars. And we completely take this for granted. Hell, you can buy codeine over-the-counter in Canada...what's not to love about that? Canadians may be slow...in SO many ways, but they're pretty friendly, and the babs at the border love to let us into their country at the blink of an eye. Wish I could say the same for the asssholes at customs on the way back... America, step your game up. Hire some fine young men to work the border for me to bat my lashes at and flash my super cute passport pic to. The old farts there now take their jobs way too seriously. Yes, I'm a hungover hot mess trying to drive as fast as possible home so I can crash and burn in my own bed. No, I'm not hiding a weapon of mass destruction in the back seat of my Vibe.

If you're still not sold on taking a brief detour to the exotic and super swanky Canadia, I'll let this picture do the talking...

Poutine...Canada's gift to the rest of the world. French fries, cheese curds, gravy...Amen.

If you've never been to Buffalo, you're seriously missing out. Ten minutes from Niagara Falls, the honeymoon capital of the world ;). Literally on the border of Canada (just don't forget your passport...). The best food. The best people. The most fun. The birthplace of everyone's favorite blogger...

Much love, peepz.

Blackout Bitch

Sorry loyal fans for my extremely long and unnecessary hiatus. Life as an in-demand blogging celebrity has been busy busy busy (ha) and social life (ha) and employment (ha) take priority over Trish the Dish. But no worries! I’m back in action. I hope you’ve all been enjoying your new favorite snack, pickles and peanut butter, in my absence.

Some things in life come naturally: my beauty, flawless gaydar, and alcoholism…just to name a few. One thing that doesn’t? Blog entries. It’s like the way more technologically advanced version of writer’s block. And it fucking sucks. All my bloggies want two-a-day action but sorryimnotsorry homie don’t play that.

Anyways, on to the main event! One of my favorite things in the world (aside from tequila and Natty Light, obvi), CAFFEINE BLACKOUTS. If you’re lame enough to have never experienced the sheer ecstasy that is a caffeine blackout, get the fuck out. Not only do you not deserve to be alive…you more importantly don’t deserve to be reading this blog either.

Side-note: This bitch has nasty nails. Don't ever do that to yourself. Please, I'm begging you.

It all begins with your coffee beverage of choice. For ease of consumption purposes, iced coffee is key. Pick your poison: Dunkin Donuts (with a turbo shot if you’re really tryna get into it), Starbucks, Folgers, La Colombe (shameless plug)…for fucks sake coffee is coffee…just drink a lot of it. And fast. And while you’re at it don’t let food pass your lips within the primo window of opportunity, 2 hours before and after chugging that liquid gold. We’re not fucking around here.

Your average caffeine blackout usually begins around 3-5 minutes after you’ve consumed your first beverage. On to the next one? This is where things really start to get fun. Now I will do what I do best when writing (thank you City Honors for teaching me everything I need to know about procrastination and reaching word requirements), quote someone else to take up space! In the wise words of ma main bitch and fellow blogging sensation (get @ her) Frances, “What does a caffeine blackout feel like? Approaching a seemingly imminent death via the shakes and the ultimate euphoric high ALL AT ONCE!” In other words, the best. But seriously. “How do you know you are addicted to coffee? Because each time a caffeine blackout nears you swear you will never consume that much caffeine again…and then you do”

Caffeine blackouts provide the ideal opportunity to complete all your least favorite activities. Productivity is at its highest. It’s like taking Adderall but you get the added benefit of the SHAKES (so great), often severe delusion (even greater), and if you’re lucky…emotional breakdowns (say whaaat?). During a caffeine blackout, time is never wasted, and most importantly…you just don’t give a FUCK what other people are thinking about you. You’re too busy trying to fight off the shakes in order to clutch the rest of your iced coffee and slurp that bad boy down like you've never tasted coffee before in your life.

When being a blackout bitch, I highly recommend avoiding any and all circumstances in which road rage may result. Safety first, my little cabbages!

In other news, the title to this post is also relevant in that today marks ONE MONTH until my 21st birthday. As in...I have one month left to live. As in...ambulance on standby. As in...#watchoutworld. Better stock those shelves at Wine & Spirits while you still have the chance...

Pickles and Peanut Butter

Whaddup fans and groupies!? Welcome to my brand new blog, Trish the Dish! Where I...Trish...give you the DISH. See what I did there? I'll give you the dish on the trials and tribulations of the sick joke that is my life, while trying to incorporate as much food into these entries as possible. FUN. So today after spending a decent three or four minutes contemplating what to write my first entry about, it struck me. The most delicious, salty and sweet, perfectly satisfying, all around amazing and completely underrated combination...pickles and peanut butter!

...As if you didn't already think I was the weirdest person on the planet. If you've never tried this sensational combo of gherkins and PB, you're really missing out. Yesterday, after blowing $150 on a new tire (thanks for fucking up my car, Manayunk!), and meeting my future husband Stuart/Jordan, Molly (name has been changed for privacy reasons) and I ventured to the magical ShopRite that we never knew existed just a few blocks away. Best. Decision. Ever. Massive jar of pickles (dill, obvi...I don't fuck with that bread and butter bullshit) for $2!? Sold. ShopRite is my new favorite place. If only they sold vodka...

Anyways, we got home and immediately broke into the pickles. Cold and crunchy goodness...hollaaa! When I broke out the jar of peanut butter for these bad boy dills to scoop up, things started getting weird. Lots of "what the fuck!?" faces later, and I still hadn't convinced either of my roommates that this is the most heavenly combination evaaa. After a few google searches, I'm happy to report that I'm not alone in my bizarre obsession! Overload of recipes for pickle/PB sandwiches (what a waste of bread) and pictures galore. That's what's up. Best of all? It's vegan!

All I have to say....don't knock it 'til you try it. I even contemplated naming this blog "Pickles and Peanut Butter." Overboard? Taste it. You'll never doubt me ever again. And you'll be craving it for weeks to come. Let the pregnant jokes begin...